i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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