Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
