we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Randomize
