Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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