I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
