At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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