Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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