Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
