That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
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