grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
