i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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