This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Randomize
