I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
