i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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