nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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