I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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