Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
