I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize