how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
