sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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