I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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