why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
