I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
