just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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