I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
