I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
