Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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