forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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