I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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