how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
The uberlube is also flammable
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Randomize
