I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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