When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
