dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
