Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
