Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
