so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Randomize
