plz talk dirty to me
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Randomize
