I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
