One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
