Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
