pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
