I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
