He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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