So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
