I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
God, I missed his penis.
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