Kiss
Puke
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Randomize
