What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Randomize
