I got chris browned last night
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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