people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
