I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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