I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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