VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
