I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
