He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
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