i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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