What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
