if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Randomize
