I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
