he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Randomize
