She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
