You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
