You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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