lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
