When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I supernannyed him into submission
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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