Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
