i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
