I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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