In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
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