come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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