i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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