Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
