Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Sext me about skeletons
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize