People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
