Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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