i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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