I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
