That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
