oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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