i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Randomize
