Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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