How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
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