If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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