so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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