you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
