Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize