I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
