People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
